But with kids in the picture, things truly have changed.
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But things can get better once again, and with open communication, sex life after kids can become even more expansive and pleasurable than it was pre-kids. She suggests getting proactive. Get to talking.
Wyatt Fisher, a licensed psychologist and marriage counselor. Sanchez recommends answering three main questions before making this leap: What are the transmission rates in your community? If you re immunocompromised, for example, you should engage in lower-risk activities.
What is the risk of the activity you plan to do? Eating at a restaurant outdoors, for example, is less risky than eating indoors, Sanchez notes. Does the establishment require servers to wear masks?
More considerations on dining indoors here. She recommends getting tested and waiting to see if the result is negative — or quarantining for two weeks without symptoms — before close, mask-free proximity.
What about sex? Speaking of protection, here s a question that probably never made it into Cosmopolitan magazine s dating advice columns: If you aren t willing or able to get tested or complete a two-week quarantine beforehand, are masks necessary during sexual encounters? Canada s chief public health officer, Dr. Theresa Tham, became the latest among several health officials to suggest that when it comes to getting physical with a partner, people should wear masks and avoid kissing.
Despite desire differences, couples usually feel closer when they cuddle more, attend social events together and treat each other compassionately. If one partner wants sex twice a week while the other is content with once a month, their average would be four or five times a month.
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But averages don t matter. The challenge is to find a frequency you both can live with. This is critical. Scheduled sex dates reassure the higher-desire partner that lovemaking will in fact take place; they reassure the lower-desire partner that it will occur only when scheduled.
The moment a couple schedules sex dates, its relationship tensions subside. As scheduling reduces tension over sex, the relationship improves. This makes it more natural for the lower-desire partner to get psyched for sex.
No sex schedule can be carved in stone, of course.