We enjoy a good sex life and continue to navigate our journey through disability and sex, both of which are a work in progress. To help others through the sometimes difficult world of disability and relationships, I give workshops and talks on the subject. It just means that you need to look at sex in a different way, and maybe use a different set of tools and ways of having sex.
First, find out what being sexy and sex itself means for you, and redefine it around your needs and what you are able to do. Explore them, explore yourself and your partner. Your partner may be happy with that and masturbation. Or there might be alternatives to penetrative sex that you could explore see the resource section for help with this. You could also consider an enabler, such as a sex therapist or sex worker.
They can be extremely valuable in helping to show you what is possible when you need some ideas. Make sure you only use experienced, accredited people. There are some organisations and practitioners listed in the resources section at the bottom of this article.
However, with so much involvement from health professionals, I had become disconnected from my body. It became medical, and body parts were just that — anatomical body parts. But, I also found that having a disability forces you to get to know your body better, so reconnecting with it was easier. Starting to own my body helped me see it in a new way and become a more sexual person again. This, in turn, helped me and my partner feel more like a sexual couple, and made me more aware and intuitive during sex.
Be open about your needs and desires One of the most important things when it comes to a healthy relationship is being open with your partner, about everything, and accepting your needs and theirs.
It can also be important to make time to focus on your relationship separately from giving and receiving support.
New relationships and experiences A new relationship can be both exciting and daunting for anyone. If you have epilepsy, you may wonder how to tell a new partner about epilepsy and how they might react. The way other people have reacted in the past might also affect how you tell new people.
Seizures can disrupt plans and activities, and for some people, having epilepsy affects their confidence. However, some people find new relationships or interests through changes they make to their lifestyle because of epilepsy.
New experiences could also strengthen an existing relationship through gaining confidence, sharing new things, and discovering what is important to you and to your partner. Talking about epilepsy Some people find that talking about epilepsy brings them closer to their partners.
But sometimes one person in a relationship wants to talk about epilepsy and the other does not. For some people, epilepsy may feel like an unwanted intruder that has changed how things used to be. Some people use humour to help to deal with, or avoid, difficult feelings.
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Others may want to keep a balance between talking about epilepsy and other important things as well. Our confidential helpline is for anyone who wants to talk about epilepsy. Relationship support for couples Some couples may chose to seek professional support for their relationship in the form of couples counselling.
Sex and epilepsy Whether or not you are sexually active, sexual issues can be important at any time of life. Many people with epilepsy do not have specific issues with sex that are caused by their epilepsy.
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For some people however, epilepsy may have an effect on their sex life. There are many possible reasons why sexual desire or arousal are reduced at times, and this is common in both men and women.
A stroke may change how you feel about yourself and your sexuality. Depression and anxiety are also common after stroke.
Emotional changes can impact your interest in sex. Relationship issues. Changes in roles after a stroke can impact your sexual relationship, especially if one of you has taken on new responsibilities. You might be worried about how your partner will feel about you sexually. Your partner may be concerned that sex could cause you worry or pain.
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Sexual dysfunction. Stroke is not usually a cause of sexual dysfunction. If you experience problems with getting or maintaining an erection, vaginal lubrication or reaching orgasm, it may be due to another condition such as cardiovascular disease or diabetes. It could also be a side effect of medications such as those for managing high blood pressure, depression or sleep problems.
Things that can help For some stroke survivors getting back to sex early on is important.
Others only start to think about sex further along in their stroke recovery. Interest in sex can change throughout the recovery process. Being in hospital can make you feel much less connected to your partner.